National Council for a New America Launches “New Coke” Listening Strategy

by bucktown on May 4, 2009 · 0 comments

in Republicans

Disappointed with loosing control of both houses and the presidency, inside-the-beltway Republicans of the National Council for a New America recently launched their New Coke Strategy. They want to hear from the Republican base how they can gain back control—as long as they don’t talk about immigration, guns, abortion, same-sex marriage, or most other core conservative principle that is.

These RINOs wish to turn the Republican party into New Coke; a sweeter, more modern version of a tried and true product that needs no alteration.

Loyal Coke drinkers didn’t like New Coke, and no Pepsi drinkers switched to this mimic beverage. Likewise, the Republican base already doesn’t like this listening tour, and no Democrats are going to switch parties over this stunt, because Republicans simply can’t “out-Democrat” Democrats.

These RINOs are simply nervous sales reps who can’t see past the present up and down political trends that naturally occur and feverously wish to pass “anything” off to gain faith that they will have jobs down the road.

They are lame. They are flat. They are fizzle-less.

Get back to Washington, dust off the old Reagan recipes, hire AlfonZo Rachel to sweetin’ them up on YouTube, and join the next tea party to see what your base likes to drink.

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